Around the Corner I Have a Friend
Around the corner I have a friend
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone
And I never see my old friend's face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell,
And he rang mine.
We were much younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow," I say, "I will call on Jim"
"Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner! yet miles away,
Here's a telegram sir—"
"Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end,
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
By Charles Hanson Towne
Clothing makes the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society..
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Facts are stubborn things. But statistics are more pliable.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
By Mark Twain
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would never be able to fly!
Millions of people have either read Frank Baum's "The Wizard of Oz" or seen it on TV - or both. Yet it's a safe bet that few people know where the name "Oz" came from.
According to the late author's autobiography, he had outlined the story of Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Straw Man, the Cowardly Lion and all the others in his mind, but still had not hit upon a name for the magic land they were seeking, when his eyes fell on a filing cabinet in a corner of his office.
The top drawer of this file was labeled "A-H," the second drawer, "I-N," and the bottom drawer, "O-Z." "That's it!" he cried delightedly. "OZ!"
The Creator gathered all of Creation and said, "I want to hide something from the humans until they are ready for it. It is the realization that they create their own reality."
The eagle said, "Give it to me, I will take it to the moon."
The Creator said, "No. One day they will go there and find it."
The salmon said, "I will bury it on the bottom of the ocean."
"No. They will go there, too."
The buffalo said, "I will bury it on the Great Plains."
The Creator said, "They will cut into the skin of the Earth and find it even there."
Grandmother Mole, who lives in the breast of Mother Earth, and who has no physical eyes but sees with spiritual eyes, said, "Put it inside of them."
And the Creator said, "It is done."
The following Corporate Mergers were recently announced:
XEROX and WURLITZER
They're going to make reproductive organs
FAIRCHILD ELECTRONICS and HONEYWELL COMPUTERS
The new company will be called Fairwell Honeychild
POLYGRAM RECORDS, WARNER BROTHERS and KEEBLER
The new company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker
W.R. GRACE CO., FULLER BRUSH CO., MARY KAY COSMETICS, and HALE BUSINESS SYSTEMS
The company will be called Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace
3M and GOODYEAR
New company name is MMMGood
JOHN DEERE and ABITIBI-PRICE
The company will be called Deere Abi
HONEYWELL, IMASCO and HOME OIL
The company will be called Honey, I'm Home
DENISON MINES, ALLIANCE and METAL MINING
The company will be called Mine All Mine
GREY POUPON and DOCKERS PANTS
The company will be called Poupon Pants
KNOTT'S BERRY FARM and THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR WOMEN
The new company will be called Knott Now
ZIPPO MANUFACTURING, AUDI, DOFASCO, DAKOTA MINING
The new company will be called, Zip Audi Do-Da
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.
By Sam Levenson
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" so he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand. I was doing exactly the speed limit. What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly. Twenty-two miles an hour!" the woman says a bit proudly.
The state police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, ma'am, I have to ask . . . is everyone in this car okay? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't said a single word this whole time."
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute," says the driver. "We just got off Route 119."
Important Things My Kids Taught Me
It's more fun to color outside the lines.
If you're gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.
Ask why until you understand.
Save a place in line for your friends.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Making your bed is a waste of time.
If your dog doesn't like somebody, you probably shouldn't either.
Toads aren't ugly. They're just toads.
Just keep banging until someone opens the door.
Don't pop someone else's bubble.
You shouldn't ask to start over just because you're losing the game.
Chasing the cat is more fun than catching it.
By Cynthia Copeland Lewis
Only in America...
...Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
...Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes right up front.
...Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
...Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
...Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway, and keep junk in boxes in the garage.
...Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
...Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
...Do we use the word "Politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" (from Latin) means "many", and "tics", meaning blood-sucking pests.
...Do banks have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
—When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Elayne Boosler
—Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
—A closed mouth gathers no feet.
The Paradox of our Time
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wideartreeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but constant conflict; more leisure, but less enjoyment; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit "delete."
A version of the original by Dr. Bob Morehead